


Voodooberi

by plumeraccoon



Series: What in Holy Hot Pockets Did I Just Write? [3]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Arcade, Asphyxiation, Attempt at Humor, Bestiality, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Breasts, Bus, Cat, Cat Ears, Cat/Human Hybrids, Claw Crane, Comedy, Cunnilingus, Day At The Beach, Dog - Freeform, F/F, Fallen Angels, Fire, Flying, Fondling, Fourth Wall, Growth, Hair, Hair on Fire, Haiti, Hilarity Ensues, Hot, Humor, Hysteria, In Public, Large Breasts, Long Distance Sex, Mirrors, Moaning, Morning, Nesoberi, No contact, Plushies, Public Sex, Reflection, Rituals, Roasting, Sea, Sexual Humor, Shame, Slice of Life, Student Council, Superman - Freeform, Tickling, Tribal Dance, Voodoo, Voodoo doll, Weird Plot Shit, baldness, sheltie, student council president, suffocation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2019-08-27 00:03:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16691497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plumeraccoon/pseuds/plumeraccoon
Summary: A crane game at the local arcade gives players the chance to win a Hyper Jumbo nesoberi for just a few tokens. It saves the trouble of buying one at full price. Just don't mind the fact that they're made in Haiti.Tags to be updated with each chapter. Viewer discretion is advised.





	1. Made in Haiti

The local arcade bustles to life on a weekend, always the perfect time for friends to play a game or two. Amidst the flashing lights of simulators, instruments, and crane games, a thrilled Yoshiko pulls a reserved Riko deep into the sea of people. Riko keeps telling her fallen angel of a friend to slow down, but even the latter’s favorite fighting game—which she zips past—can’t stop her.

Riko eventually gives up calling for calm. She remembers that she’s in Yoshiko’s world, not the hellish wasteland where fallen angels thrive but a center where gamers like her conduct serious business. The blend of sounds, from the earworms blaring from several games to the howls of fellow gamers getting too immersed, is music to her ears. But that’s not what has Yoshiko head over heels; at least that’s how Riko sees it.

Riko finds her answer the moment they come to a sudden halt. Before them stands a crane game larger than any other in the arcade. It has to be, given that the prize inside is one of a boatload of _nesoberi_ plush toys. The crane to grab them looms above the plushy pool like the jaws of a monster.

“Yocchan,” Riko speaks after an eternity of being dragged. “This is what you’re excited about?”

“Aren’t you?” Yoshiko replied. “This is the crane game everyone’s talking about. You can win a _nesoberi_ for just a few tokens instead of spending over 2,000 yen on one.”

“How could I be? I mean, I’m not really fond of those things.”

“But they’re Aqours! They’re _us_!”

Another closer look at the plush toys inside has Riko shocked beyond words. Not only does she notice her own blank-eyed image and likeness as one of the prizes, she also sees the features of the rest of the girls. The urge of wanting one, though still far from swaying her, slowly builds up inside her. “That’s…interesting,” she remarks casually.

Meanwhile, Yoshiko walks up to the crane game and fixes her slanted eyes on her own image and likeness. It sits atop the plushy pile, a seemingly easy grab.

“Heh, heh, heh,” the cackle of the fallen angel Yohane expresses her confidence. “There she stands: a little demon in my own image and likeness. Fear not, my little demon. For the fallen angel Yohane shall save you from this prison and set you free.”

The fallen angel then turns to Riko. “All I need is some spare change.”

“Wait, you don’t have money?” Riko said.

“I’m broke until next month.”

All the pieces fall into place, to the redhead’s annoyance. “I see now. You invited me to go to the arcade just so you can borrow money. _Real smooth_ of you.”

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll pay you back once I get next month’s allowance.”

“I’m just as broke as you are, Yocchan!”

“Then why did you come? You could’ve said no.”

The rest of Riko’s words choke her throat. As much as she hates to admit it, she really could’ve turned down the invitation. But an opportunity to spend time with her close friend alone outside school is a rare one. Such a feeling eventually influences her decision to take out her purse and lend a handful of yen.

Before a delighted Yoshiko can accept her blessing, Riko retracts her hand holding the coins. “One condition,” said a stern Riko. “You can only play _once_ , Yocchan. Whether you win or not, that’s all you’re getting.”

Yoshiko doesn’t even try to refute her; she simply nods. “Deal,” she accepts the coins with gusto and proceeds to the crane controls.

The mechanics are just like any other crane game: guide the claw to the desired place within the time limit and press the button. Most of the time, it frustrates players but that’s the way it’s designed to be played. Exuding confidence, Yoshiko barely troubles herself with such concerns. The _nesoberi_ of her choice sits on top of the entire pile, easy prey for someone who has played crane games in the past. With delicate taps of the joystick, the claw moves into position.

“You’re mine!” Yoshiko slams the button. The claw descends as it opens its jaws to snatch the _nesoberi_. Her heart races as she witnesses the claw inch closer to the little demon worthy of salvation.

Then, the claw grazes the _nesoberi_ and dives for another one beneath the pile. Her heart sinks. “Noooooo! My little demon!”

In its place, a _nesoberi_ in Riko’s image and likeness gets lifted up and dropped in the chute. A dejected Yoshiko picks up her prize, which stares back at her with a warm smile. She did win something, just not the one she wished for.

“Congratulations, Yocchan,” smiled Riko.

“Curse this evil power disrupting my crane game prowess!” said a frustrated Yoshiko.

“Look at the bright side. At least you’ll think about me wherever you go.”

“No! I won’t accept this. Riri, give me another handful.”

“No. I told you, only _once_. No more.”

“I beg you. My fallen angel powers will wane without my little demon.”

“Well, you’ll just have to bear with _her_ …I mean, _me_.”

Yoshiko lowers her head in defeat. But had she not, she might not have taken notice of a small detail in the tag that came with her prize. “Huh? What’s this?”

“Something wrong?” Riko is shown the tag but looks at it differently. “ _Love Live…Sunshine?_ Isn’t that the name of our show?”

“Not that,” Yoshiko flips the tag open and points at three words in bold. “This. It says here that the doll’s made in Haiti.”

“Haiti? As in the country of Haiti?”

“Is it? I always thought these things were made right here.”

And to some extent, Yoshiko’s right. A toy prevalent in the Japanese market, a _nesoberi_ made in a country halfway around the world makes for one hell of a head scratcher. Not that she dislikes her reward any more than she does. She takes another good look at the _nesoberi_ from the front and shrugs off the mystery. The important thing is that she got a nesoberi for a fraction of its market value.


	2. No Contact

Several brushes of her flowing hair later, Riko is ready for school. Her summer uniform retains its fresh-from-the-laundry crispness, gently rustling against her skin. The skirt dangles as far as above her knees, just the way she likes it. The red scarf contrasts nicely with her white uniform, vibrant as her personality. The highlights of her beauty possibly can’t get any more positive, lest it’s part of a setup for an incoming plot point.

“I’m off,” Riko bids her mother goodbye for another day at school. A pleasant breeze greets her on the way out up to reaching the bus stop. Several minutes early, but it’s better than missing the bus by the skin of one’s teeth. She takes in the majesty of clear skies over Uchiura to pass the time.

“What a beautiful morning,” she smiles back in gratitude. “I think I can make a song or two out of this. I bet Chika-chan’s gonna be fired up to make lyrics today.”

What’s supposed to be just another day of her life is rattled by an odd surge between her legs. Her face reddens as she lets out a squeal, as if something or some _one_ is trying to break her chastity open. Under the surge, her legs buckle despite its best efforts to remain standing. The sound of her deep gasps risk being heard by the few people nearby, if not her shaky condition.

“What…what’s happening?” she asks herself in between gasps, but all that answers is the surge forcing her to squeal and throw her head back. “Ah…aaaahhhnn♡…!”

To her luck, not a fly heard her embarrassing moan. Just her luck, a bus half-packed with fellow commuters pulls up to the bus stop. As the bus opens for her, she gets on as if nothing occurred within the last few seconds. She has to, especially with the driver looking at her funny.

Taking a seat, she ponders on the sensation coming from out of the blue. _What just happened? Why am I suddenly aroused by something? It can’t be that this beautiful morning turned me on. That’s beyond absurd. It felt…it felt like someone’s tongue in there. And…and it just won’t stop._

She locks her legs together in an attempt to suppress the sensation. For a while, she breathes a sigh of relief as the feeling goes away. But the bus doesn’t get far from the stop, and it recurs to her dismay. “N-No…aahhh…nnn…ah,” the sound of pleasure is kept no louder than a whisper, though it doesn’t stop a male passenger a few seats up front from blushing.

As Riko bears the consequences of sex straight out of nowhere, an unseen hand taps her on the shoulder. “Riko-chan?”

“Kyah!” Riko nearly jumps out of her seat, alerting the few passengers in the bus. In a panic, she turns around to give the person behind the hand a piece of her mind. “Eh? You-chan?”

“Aren’t we jumpy first thing in the morning? Is something wrong?”

“N-No, I’m fine.”

“You were groaning there for no reason. That’s not normal, Riko-chan.”

“Just mumbling to myself. Ha, ha, no need to worry.”

For dignity’s sake, Riko forces a smile before You. The sexual tension that’s plagued her since leaving home leaves her alone but still has her worried. What witchcraft is capable of delivering such a feeling out of plain sight, if not from a great distance? What menace is responsible for disrupting her innocent life?

“Isn’t Yocchan with you?” asked Riko.

“Usually,” You shrugged. “Guess she’s late again.”

**~O~**

“Laelaps, no! Bad little demon!”

Already missing the timely bus to school, Yoshiko can’t afford to miss the next one. But it’s been proving to be difficult when the sheltie she’s caring for as a favor to his family keeps on sniffing and licking her hard-earned _nesoberi_. Quickly, she grabs the _nesoberi_ and puts it on top of her shelf of fallen angel stuff. The dog scurries to the shelf and jumps to reach it, but at four levels high it’s impossible.

“Behave yourself, little demon,” Yohane sternly tells the dog. “That plush toy is _not_ to be played by such recklessness. Cease your foolishness and return to your kennel.”

Her fallen angel voice does the trick, prompting Laelaps to walk back to his carrier home. This point in doing a favor for Laelaps’ owner, however, she sighs at what she now believes is a bad decision on her part. The condo’s rules make it quite clear that pets aren’t allowed inside, but at the same time she can’t say no to a little girl’s plea. Besides, agreeing works to her benefit as she gets to spend time again with a dog she was forced to return to its true family.

Now that she’s fully dressed for school, however, the thought of leaving Laelaps alone crosses her taxed mind. Its glistening gaze fixed on the _nesoberi_ out of reach, it barks demanding that it be allowed to play with the plush.

“B-Be quiet!” shushed Yoshiko. “I’m not supposed to have pets here, remember? And more importantly, Mom doesn’t know.”

Laelaps (real name Anko, by the way) refuses to relent until it gets what it wants. If not for the need to keep this a secret, Yohane would be proud to have a resolute little demon by her side.

Only after looking at the time does she realize that there’s to think about such problems. “Crap! I’m gonna miss the next bus if I stay here!” Yoshiko nearly fumbles on her way out, not a word of goodbye to the barking sheltie. She doesn’t care anymore if she and her mother are evicted from the condo for a clear violation of the rules. She needs to get to school _pronto_.

The barks show no signs of relenting. Laelaps seems hell bent on playing with the _nesoberi_ out of its reach. Barking, however, won’t make it move from its spot, much less come close to it.

You know what _does_ make the plush toy move? A slight tremor rocking the city. The shaking really makes itself known several stories from the ground, tossing a few of Yoshiko’s belongings all over the room. To the dog’s delight, the _nesoberi_ nudges just enough to lose its balance off the edge and falls within reach. It lands on its body, as any ordinary _nesoberi_ does, a temptation the dog can hardly resist.

Somewhere in the Numazu countryside, Riko trips and falls face first up the stairwell.

“Eh? Riko-chan!” You exclaimed in surprise.

The unlucky maiden isn’t given time to ponder on what just happened, let alone get back on her feet. The sexual tension returns to finish what it started. “Oh no, not again! Kyaaah!”

“R-Riko-chan?! What’s going on?”

“Ah…ah…no, not there…aaaahh♡”

“H-Hey, snap out of it! Riko-chan!”

Riko gets up on all fours and crawls the rest of the way at a snail’s pace. Her deep gasps has You worried every step of the way, even more when she begins talking raunchy nonsense. “Ah, You-chan…I’m such a dirty girl…aaaahhnn…”

“Please don’t turn me on,” a shameful You replied.

“I can’t…I…can’t, ah…where…is it coming…from…?”

“Yo-Yousoro…”

“Ah…aaahh…I’m such a dirty girl…”

Back at the condo, Laelaps presses hard with humping the _nesoberi_ on the floor. Deep panting replaces barking as its means of expressing its own pleasure. The school uniform the plush toy wears, almost identical to that of the real Riko, rustles against the dog’s brazen thrust. Nothing can stop the tension from reaching its climax other than Laelaps itself.

The dog eventually gets tired and leaves the _nesoberi_ alone, kicking its hind legs after itself. But the damage has been done. Riko cries under the strain of long distance sex.

“N-Nooooooo…aaahhhhnn♡♡♡”


	3. Up in the Sky

Despite facing her school idol friends, Riko refuses to take off her hands from her face. She’s in no mood to face even a butterfly fluttering across the room, not after word of her unexplainable orgasm spread around school like wildfire. Granted that she was still able to attend her classes, but once school was over she bailed out as if her seat had an ejection system. Sadly, there was no avoiding the gossip about her as she passed hall after hall.

“No one will marry me now,” she groaned, muffled by her hands. The few people inside the club room can only look on in a mix of curiosity and confusion, more as they hear her sobbing.

“Yoshiko-chan, what did you do to Riko-san?” Hanamaru glares at the fallen angel next to her.

“You’re blaming me?” Yoshiko clearly takes offense at the accusation. “I’m the one who came here asking what’s wrong.”

Not even the friendly Kanan’s approach to a sobbing friend, which is a simple hug, can coax the answer out of her. Although, let’s be honest, her approach to any problem may as well be a hug. “Come on now, Riko. Tell us what’s wrong.”

Without letting go of her hands, Riko stubbornly shakes her head. Kanan can only groan out of worry, though she retains her embrace.

“Out with it, zura. What did you do?” Hanamaru glared.

“Cut it out, Zuramaru!” Yoshiko nearly slams the table. “I told you, I didn’t do anything!”

“Then why were you late for school today?”

“What’s that got to do with here?”

“Just answer the damn question, zura!”

There really is no need for this kind of tension. Fortunately, an ecstatic Ruby hurries inside the club room with a plushy in hand. And just like that, cooler heads finally prevail. “Oh! There you are!” she saves the urge to jump for joy for when she needs it the most.

“Whoa, Ruby-chan, where’s the fire?” Kanan giggled.

The metaphor, however, is lost in translation. “F-F-F-Fire?” poor Ruby shudders as she takes it too literally. “There’s a fire? _Pigyaaaaaa!_ ”

“Calm down, Ruby-chan, it’s a figure of speech. What’s got you so excited?”

“This!” Ruby shows her _nesoberi_ along with her best smile. It possesses the same blank eyes and slight smile as the rest of its enigmatic kind. This one, however, has the level bangs and split-diamond hairclips of her sister Dia. And if the mole in her chin area doesn’t give it away, well…that ends the negotiations.

Everyone is enamored by the fluff-filled version of Aqours’ mother figure. Everyone, even the sobbing Riko is filled with high hopes for peace on Earth. And yes, it escalated _that_ quickly.

“How cute, zura,” said Hanamaru. “It really resembles Dia-san in a way. Where did you get it?”

“From the arcade,” replied Ruby. “I always wanted one of these, but I couldn’t afford it. I’m glad that this new crane game gives them out for just a few tokens.”

“It’s the future, zura!”

“I wonder if they have versions the rest of Aqours.”

“I bet Yoshiko’s is as fallen angel-rific as the real thing.”

Again, Yoshiko takes offense at the casual comparison. “What’d you mean _fallen angel-rific_? And my name’s Yohane!”

In a totally random moment, Ruby loosens her hold on her new plush toy. From her cradle, it drops on the floor and lands face first before plopping belly down. Ruby instantly bends over and picks it up.

Several rooms away, the real Dia slams her face against the desk…during a meeting.

**~O~**

“Pardon me,” Dia picks up her head and wipes her face with a clean hanky. Around the room, her fellow students look on in silent disbelief. “I have no idea how or why that happened. Let’s continue, shall we?”

Dia’s not the type who’d just slam her face without a reason, but here she is having done just that. And of all the times, it just had to happen in the middle of the school’s budget meeting. In front of presidents from various clubs, which also includes the School Idol Club represented by Chika herself, she details the school’s precarious finances. These details, however, are totally irrelevant to what’s about to befall the unaware student council president.

Until Dia and Chika return, the school idols kill time admiring the fluff Ruby brought to the club room. Amidst hearty chatter, Hanamaru pokes and scratches the _nesoberi,_ its softness bringing happiness to her heart.

For Dia, all that brings is hysteria. _Lots and lots_ of hysteria, not to mention squirming like that Italian contortionist in Soul Calibur. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Oh no!” exclaimed Chika in fear. “Dia-san’s brain damaged!”

And for some reason, back in the clubroom, Yoshiko shudders all of a sudden. Not that anyone else took notice as all eyes are on the _nesoberi_.

It’s Kanan’s turn to play, tossing the _nesoberi_ up in the air like a father to his little tyke. “For a doll packed with fluff, it sure is light.”

If only she could see Dia being tossed the same way in the student council room, she might not say such things. The students at the meeting look on as if seeing the handiwork of the Devil in progress. No, seriously, the president’s throwing expletives while being tossed up and down like it’s nobody’s business. Not very _yamato nadeshiko_.

“Oh no!” exclaimed Chika in fear again. “Dia-san’s possessed by the Devil!”

Yohane promptly grabs the _nesoberi_ in midair. “Hmph. You call that flying? Let the fallen angel Yohane show you how it’s done, foolish mortals.” And show them she does, keeping a firm grip on the doll while whisking it in midair like a child and his airplane toy.

Three guesses as to what happens to Dia. At that point, the students decide that they’ve had enough and bail out of the meeting. Chika, however, still has one more remark for her before leaving.

“Oh no! Dia-san is Superman!”

If you think about it, she _really_ is super in every sense of the word.

After changing hands so many times, Ruby retrieves her precious plush. “I’m not gonna play with it like that. I’m gonna keep it close to me every time I go to bed. We’ll sleep on the same bed and share the same blanket. That’s how a _nesoberi_ should be treated…with love.”

The girls witness Ruby tightening her embrace around the doll’s neck (if it ever has one) as a sign of her love. Even as a mere image of her beloved sister, the _nesoberi_ is still worth every second of embrace young Ruby devotes to her. The younger sister’s smile is as genuine as it can get, to the inspiration of her friends.

Did we mention that her hug’s by the neck, by the way? That’s important because Dia’s on the floor hacking and coughing. “Help…can’t…breathe…”


	4. Growth Spurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italicized words in quotes are Mari’s Engrish.

Inside the director’s office, Mari observes her complete collection of Aqours _nesoberi_ intently. All of her friends are neatly arranged in a row, staring back at her with their blank eyes. The effort it took to collect them all burns sharply in memory. “That was _a lot_ of tokens. I’m glad that nobody else was in line at the time,” she chuckled while stroking the hair of her own _nesoberi_. She feels the sensation brush against her hair, which she pays little heed.

Whatever ordeal she went through to get all nine, it certainly would’ve involved endless trial and error. But with a fat wallet and a fatter need to keep her friends close, the effort never bothered her one bit. One _nesoberi_ after another, she took her sweet time. The total cost and hours spent are irrelevant, at least to this crazy rich Italian-American-Japanese.

Mari can’t deny what’s advertised about the dolls: cute and cuddly. So why does she look as if she can’t put her finger on something? “Hmm…something’s quite lacking with these plushies. I wonder what it could be.”

She picks up the Kanan plush and turns it with the torso facing her. “I guess they don’t include the finer details, huh?” she pinches the area where a plump bosom should be, to her dismay.

If only Mari realized that her pinching just caused Kanan in the club room to twitch in complete shock, she wouldn’t be.

The plush eventually reunites with the rest of the gang, while a brooding Mari wonders what else she can do to make them shinier. You would _think_ that she has more important things to worry about, being the director and all. But, hey, don’t let bureaucracy get in the way of a hobby.

Then, the diamond-encrusted LED lamp in her head lights up. “I got it! _Accessories!_ ”

Rummaging through her drawers, she stumbles upon a pair of wearable cat ears. No idea why it’s there of all places, much less how it ended up there, but Mari doesn’t give a dazzling damn. In joyous revelry, she shoves the cat ears on the Yoshiko plush. Because why not, Yohaneko?

Back in the club room, in the middle of her fallen angel rhetoric, a pair of cat ears pop open on Yohane’s head. They’re as real as they twitch to the sounds of her friends losing their shit upon seeing this unfold.

“Y-Y-Y-Yoshiko-chan, what are those on your head?!” an anxious Ruby stutters.

“My head?” Yoshiko reaches for her head and realizes body parts that shouldn’t be there, to her apprehension. Only after she scrambles for the pocket mirror in her bag does she see what she just grew. “W-What the—cat ears, nya?!”

“C-Cat ears? And why are you talking like Rin-san?”

“H-How should I know, nya?!”

“ _Pigiiii!_ ”

“Hey! Get these ears off me, nya!”

While the club room explodes in panic, Mari’s craving to accessorize continues unabated. This time, she finds something that’ll complete Yohaneko’s transformation: a cat tail. And she’s all too happy to shove it where it really goes.

At the exact moment the tail goes up her rear, Yoshiko grows a functioning cat tail and cries out in pleasure. “Nyaaaaaahhhnn♡”

A cautious Kanan approaches her. “H-Hey, Yoshiko-chan, what’s—”

Yohaneko hisses, as any cat would in front of a threat to its life. Unless she fancies a face full of scratch marks, Kanan and the others refrain from approaching her any further.

“She’s turned into Yohaneko, zura,” said Hanamaru.

“Now’s not the time for puns, Maru.”

**~O~**

Mari always thought that Ruby’s bust seemed less developed than the others. So, in honor of a friend (and for all intents and purposes, busts), she crumples two sheets of paper into balls and put them underneath the parallel _nesoberi’s_ uniform. Although to be honest, she’s not honoring anyone with this mad stunt.

And just like that, Ruby freaks out when she witnesses her breasts grow 12 sizes bigger. The realization of out-busting even freaking Mari is slow to sink in, at least amidst her frightened reaction. “W-W-W-W-WHAT IS THIS?!”

“Eek! Ruby-chan out-busts all of us, zura!” exclaimed Hanamaru.

“Hanamaru-chan, I don’t even want this! Someone tell me what’s going on!”

The weight of her newly-grown breasts is too much for her to bear. An attempt to walk over to the girls ends with her falling down, the face of her precious Dia _nesoberi_ pinned down by the cleavage. Three guesses as to how Dia’s doing in the infirmary right now (*muffled sounds of anguish somewhere*).

Riko, who hasn’t said a word or moved a limb since the start of these shenanigans, races to help Ruby up. “Ruby-chan, are you hurt?”

“Ah, thank you, Riko-chan,” replied a teary-eyed Ruby.

“Seriously, this day’s just getting weirder and weirder.”

You said it, Riko. And it’s not done with you girls just yet. There’s just one last poor lass that has to undergo this torture.

Mari answers the grin of the Kanan _nesoberi_ with her own, her ulterior motive clear as the day outside. Unlike the other two, she can’t think of anything to add to the doll. But since it’s Kanan, she does what she does to her best friend best. She lifts the doll’s uniform up and proceeds to cuddle her flat torso without hesitation.

Kanan’s torso is anything _but_ flat, but that doesn’t stop her breasts from suddenly jiggling. Her upright top isn’t making her breasts more hidden. “What? What in the world…?”

“K-Kanan-san?” replied a horrified Riko.

“I…I’m actually okay with this.”

“EHHHHH?!”

“It feels as if Mari’s cuddling my chest.”

“Kanan-san, now’s not the time to be enjoying that!”

Spared from the fate of an unknown hex, Hanamaru trembles in fear as she watches her friends in their strange shenanigans. Maybe it’s because she won’t make a good cat girl or she already has impressive bazongas. Or maybe this chapter’s already reached its max quota of weirdness.


	5. When There's Smoke...

“I’m home,” Nico breathes a sigh of relief as she retires for the day. Her three adorable siblings rush her with open arms, to which she responds in kind. Office work often takes a lot out of her, but seeing her siblings’ smiles instantly refills her energy bar.

Tonight, however, the siblings are a little happier to see their older sister arrive than usual. It’s probably because of the large bag Nico has with her. Is it food? They’re usually okay with any meal, not to the point of ecstasy. Is it new clothes? They’re not the type to be obsessed with the latest fashion trends (though Nico herself is).

Is it _Love Live_ merch? Of course it is. This is a story about hexed _Love Live_ nesoberi after all.

“Welcome home, onee-chan,” Cocoro is the first to greet. “Did you get what we asked for?”

“If you guys let me inside, I’ll show you,” Nico chuckled.

Cocoro pulls her two sisters, Coco and Cotaro, away as Nico settles the bag down on the dining table. In front of the children, she pulls out the surprise they’ve been dying to see. As you—avid reader—would expect, it’s a _nesoberi._ But contrary to the children’s wishes, it’s not of their big-time superstar of a sister.

“Hey, that’s not you,” Coco is the first to complain.

“I’m terribly sorry,” Nico sighed in dismay. “I looked for µ’s everywhere, but all they have is just _Aqours_ ,” she explained, with resentful emphasis on the last word.

“Aw! We wanted a _nesoberi_ of you, onee-chan.”

“Apparently, µ’s is too good for Love Live anymore. So they decided to root for the _other_ school idol group. You know: the one who might not have existed if not for _us_?”

Ranting aside, the children look at the doll differently. Cocoro, feeling her older sister’s anguish, looks back at its blank stare with a bit of anger. Coco, with a bit of a sad burden, looks at it with a frown. Cotaro, who’s too oblivious to give a shit, imitates the doll’s blank stare. And it doesn’t help that the doll they got sports the tangerine idiot hair of the leader.

“Chika Takami, huh?” Cocoro reads the tag with the doll. “ _Love Live…Sunshine?_ Isn’t that the name of your show, onee-chan?”

“No, that’s _Love Live._ No Sunshine,” Nico said.

“Well, they sure don’t look very sunny to me,” Coco remarked.

The big sister can only look on as the young ones stare at the _nesoberi_ with mixed reactions. A text message, however, interrupts the moment and prompts her to answer. “Eli and Nozomi’s asking me if I’m free tonight,” she then turns to Cocoro. “Can you handle things here for a while?”

“Go ahead,” smiled Cocoro. “Maybe you’ll stumble upon your own plushie along the way.”

“I’ll do my best, you guys,” and with that show of confidence, Nico leaves the house once more. She won’t be back in time to see what Cocoro and her not-so-innocent smirk have in store for the _nesoberi_.

“Coco, Cotaro, get the box. We’ll teach this upstart not to mess with our superstar sister.”

Whatever they plan on doing to the _nesoberi_ , the siblings—even the carefree Cotaro—seem to be too eager to do it. And whatever’s inside the box they’ve taken out of their room, well they’re all toys for sure. But as they say, there’s a lot to fear in a butter knife with enough hate behind it.

**~O~**

“Chika,” a perturbed Mito folds her arms in front of her younger sister. Her tense look has the makings of an old-fashioned reprimand, even if her sister hasn’t done anything wrong. “We have a very important guest staying the night here. As in VERY important. I don’t care if your whole body catches fire as long as you _keep it down_.”

The mikan girl clearly takes offense at that. “What? Are you implying that it’s always my fault?”

“Yes, I do. No sane person would squeal in the middle of the night while replaying µ’s DVDs.”

“W-Well, you don’t need to tell me twice.”

“Then for all our sakes, try to give our guests a good night’s sleep,” Mito leaves her sister with this reminder and retires to her room.

Annoyed, Chika does the same, sitting before her laptop and resuming her µ’s binge. But for all their sakes, she keeps her screams bottled up inside in an impressive display of self-restraint, even if the PV just happened to be _START:DASH!!_ The delight of seeing her idols over and over manifests in her smile, with a bit of giggling.

“Ah, they’re so shiny,” Chika remarked with glee. “Seeing them shine over and over makes me feel all fuzzy and warm inside.”

It may be genuine warmth. It _may_ be Cocoro and her siblings dancing in tribal fashion around the _nesoberi_ being roasted over a single candle flame.

“Not enough,” Cocoro stops halfway to a full round. “Coco, we need more candles!”

“Aye!” Coco rushes to the kitchen drawers, pulling them out one by one without closing. Soon, a pack of fresh candles is in her hand. “Found some!”

“Big fire,” the amazed Cotaro drools at the thought of a bigger flame. Seriously, he can’t be led to think of whatever children usually think other than roasting hexed plush toys. He looks on as his sisters light each candle and set them line abreast.

The spinning resumes over a wider flame, searing the _nesoberi_ just the way its tormentors like it. The siblings’ indigenous dance continues with much fervor, the haunting beat of drums echo in their imaginations. They’re not dancing to make it rain, that’s for sure. And all the while, 120 kilometers (no conversions, America; learn metric) to the south, Chika’s innate warmth forces her to sweat a ton.

“Weird,” she wipes sweat off of her forehead. “It’s gotten hot all of a sudden,” she steps out of the room, hoping to savor the chilly night air. The good news is that the night air’s indeed cold. The bad news is that her warmth’s overpowering the cold. “E-Eh? It was cold a minute ago.”

The poor mikan girl doesn’t realize the curse she bears at the hands of vengeful people with a campfire roasting toy set (yeah, that’s what was in the box). The _nesoberi_ tied to her soul can’t break free of the ropes, every inch of its body being cooked in humble fire. And the tribal motif only adds to the oddball scenario that it already is.

Of course, this can’t go on forever. So, cruel fate decides to up the ante with a gentle, unseen touch of the braid. It’s just enough for it to swing down and catch fire. Cocoro and her siblings are too preoccupied with the dance to care.

Back in Uchiura, Chika smells something burning. “Eh? Someone’s still cooking? At this hour?” Only when she feels the burning crawl up her scalp does she finally get the idea, to her horror.

The reasonable reaction would be to run wild and scream. But just as she’s about to break, she recalls Mito’s warning. _I don’t care if your whole body catches fire as long as you keep it down._ “No. For the sake of the guests, I won’t scream. I’ll keep quiet and solve this matter peacefully.”

And by “peacefully,” she means not doing anything at all. The flame burns with near impunity.

Come the next day, she comes to the club room totally bald. Okay, not totally, if you consider the lone cowlick that survived the wildfire.

“Chika-san,” Dia holds back her astonishment, though everyone can tell that they’re all fed up with the recent series of events. “Do we even want to know what happened to you?”

But hey, the _nesoberi_ lost its hair, too. Matching _for the win_!


	6. An Experiment

An air of tension drifts above one of Aqours’ many regular meetings. But when said meeting has a bandaged Dia as the facilitator, and is attended by a bald _mikan_ , a purring fallen cat angel, a girl whose bust grew several sizes bigger just by doing her Rubesty, and Kanan being insecure around Ruby’s bust, it’s anything _but_ regular. You, Hanamaru, and Mari can take pride as the only ones who have yet to feel the jackboot of the cursed _nesoberi_.

And by “yet,” it means they’ll feel it soon enough. This chapter is called “An Experiment” for a reason, after all.

“As you may have noticed, a lot of weird stuff has happened lately,” Dia starts the meeting with the understatement of the day. “And through a thorough investigation by the student council, we have pinpointed the cause to these… _accursed_ things.”

All eyes are suddenly on the nine plush toys line abreast on the table. Ruby _nesoberi_ is tilted at an angle caused by the bulge on its chest. Yoshiko _nesoberi_ still sports the cat ears and tail that Mari thoughtfully shoved into earlier. And for reasons of throwing logic out the window, Dia has somehow managed to recover Chika _nesoberi_ sans all its hair.

“It’s like they’re voodoo dolls, zura,” Hanamaru intently looks at her plush counterpart, mimicking its astonished look. “Oh! A voodooberi _,_ zura!”

“Voodooberi?” asked a puzzled Dia.

“I’ve read about voodoo recently. It’s a kind of curse that allows you to control a person however you wish using hexed dolls.”

“Just like in the movies,” Mari gleefully added. “Though I pictured them to be a bit smaller.”

The student council president forces the meeting back on track. “Anyway, at least now we have a good idea. The next step is how to deal with this.”

And thus, the meeting hits a wall. Voodoo isn’t exactly a science, let alone removing such a hex. It’s not like they can just solve their problems the way Aqours knows best like through song and dance. It’s not like they can just believe in the radiance that rests within them or some emotional crap. As one meme goes, “modern problems require punching their face in the face.”

That’s the idea behind today’s meeting. Using the _nesoberi_ before them, they’ll conduct a series of tests to be able to come up with ways to better protect themselves. It might involve a couple more injuries and a hell of a lot of hilarity, but it’s the only way.

“We’ll start with this,” Dia hands over a small mirror to Mari. Its intricate design suggests that it belongs more to a temple than one’s dresser. “Mari-san, I want you to hold it facing outward.”

“Okay,” Mari takes the mirror and positions it for her friends to see their reflections. Meanwhile, hiding her vengeful grin, Dia grabs Mari _nesoberi_ and punches it in the face.

The fist sinks deep into the plush’s softness. Mari shuts her eyes, bracing for the pain to follow. But to her surprise, not an ant’s bite is felt seconds later. Instead, she hears You—directly in front of the mirror—squeal in pain. “Ouch!”

“As I thought,” Dia remarked. “The curse bounces off of a blessed mirror. Good to know.”

“Yeah, but someone else’s gonna get hurt instead,” You rubs her nose, glowing red with pain. “And we can’t go about our lives carrying those things, too.”

“You have a point, You-san. Let’s try something else.”

Cue Dia giving away extra blessed mirrors, one for each member of Aqours. She’s not about to tell a soul where in the world she got so many of these things, but she’s dying to find out what happens when a curse bounces off of multiple surfaces. Because anything worth doing is worth _overdoing_.

The same Mari _nesoberi_ takes another punch to the face. As expected, neither Mari nor the rest of the girls feel the pain. The mirrors, however impractical, are doing their job splendidly.

Of course, any object that keeps bouncing off surfaces will eventually lose momentum—even the metaphysical. They learn this upon hearing a fellow student outside the club room suddenly collapse and shout: “My ass!”

“Looks like these things can be dangerous, after all,” Dia said.

“YOU THINK?!” her frustrated friends shouted in unison.

**~O~**

The next attempt at breaking the hex takes the girls to the beach, school uniforms swapped for swimsuits. They’ve never been happier to find a solution that involves having a heck of a time under the sun, on the sand, and by the sea. Immediately, the excited ones like Chika and You head for the water ahead of everybody else, to an irritated Dia.

“Excuse me!” yelled Dia. “We’re not here to play!”

“Now, now,” replied Kanan in the girls’ defense. “You did say that saltwater may remove the curse, right? We might as well make the most out of our time here.”

No point in telling them off, now that they can’t be convinced to get out of the water. “I guess you’re right, Kanan-san. We need at least an hour for the saltwater to take effect, anyway.”

“See? Now stop your bellyaching and get in the water.”

Soon, everyone gets in on the fun, laughing and splashing at each other like any conceivable beach scene should. Well, almost everyone, as Yohaneko struggles against being pulled into the water by her first-year friends. Her reason for refusing to swim is as good of a guess as anyone: (most) cats hate the water.

“Come on, Yoshiko-chan!” Hanamaru pulls Yohaneko’s arms with all her might, while Ruby pushes against her posterior. They’re almost left in stunned disbelief as to where their friend gets the strength to resist. “How did you even get _this_ strong, zura?”

Still under a feline spell, Yohaneko hisses at her friends in anger. Burying half of her legs in the sand should’ve given the girls an idea that she doesn’t want the water. Unfortunately, Hanamaru isn’t having any of that crap.

“Yoshiko-chan,” she whispered. “There’s fish in the sea, zura.”

The fallen cat angel’s eyes light up all of a sudden. She immediately rushes toward the water, leaving Hanamaru and Ruby to fall flat in the sand. To their relief, they finally got her to swim.

“Look at that,” Riko chuckled. “Yocchan’s cat ears are swimming above the water. How cute.”

They look on as the pair of ears swim past the second-years, and later the third-years. In fact, she’s swimming farther than they expect her to—toward open water.

“Uh…Yoshiko-chan can swim, right?” You asked with worry.

“I think the better question is if cats can even swim,” Kanan said.

The girls probably have nothing to worry about as long as the cat ears remain above water. So they watch her enjoy the cool dip some more. Hanamaru and Ruby eventually join the rest of the group, their faces partly littered with sand. “Hanamaru-san, what did you do back there?” Dia asked.

“Oh, I just told her that there’s fish in the sea, zura.” Hanamaru answered.

“Of course,” Mari grinned. “Cats love fish, after all. She must be _really_ hungry.”

And that got Riko thinking. “Hold on. Are there even fish this close to the shore?”

Silence. One potato, two potato, three potato…the cat ears disappear below the water.

“YOSHIKO-CHAN!” yelled the girls.

**~O~**

Back at shore, Riko pumps the chest of an unconscious Yohaneko with ferocity. “Live, Yocchan! Live!” she cries desperately with each pump, not minding the fact that neither she nor the girls are trained at CPR. Regardless, the procedure performs as intended with water being coughed out in significant bursts. With this steady sign of hope, the procedure carries on until Yohaneko finally springs to life, not only alive but being able to speak human once more.

“Riri, everyone…what happened, nya?” Well, _almost_ able to speak human. It’ll be fixed later.

“Yocchan!” a teary-eyed Riko embraces her, unwilling to loosen up, if not let go. “You’re okay! I—no, we were all worried!”

“Riri? What’s gotten into you? Why are you crying?”

“You reckless idiot! You almost drowned!”

“D-Drowned? Wait, why are we at the beach?”

So many questions, so little time for answers. Yoshiko has no choice but to accept the situation as it is, starting with returning Riko’s embrace in kind.

On the plus side, the saltwater experiment seems to have yielded some answers but not to their benefit. Despite Yoshiko being able to talk properly again, her cat ears and tail persist as much as her feline verbal tic. Judging by her shock upon realizing that she nearly drowned, she hardly remembers the shenanigans she did as a full-on cat girl. Overall, saltwater won’t be enough for them to be rid of the hexes.

“Of course not, nya,” Yoshiko forces herself back on her feet, towering over her fellow school idols. “If that curse is as strong as you say, such basic attempts are too weak to counteract it. Believe me; I deal with bad luck every day.”

“Then what should we do?” Ruby asked in reply. “These ridiculous breasts of mine are getting heavier by the day.”

“We must tap into the greater powers of darkness to eliminate your curses,” the fallen angel speaks to the fear of her mortal companions. “But be warned. Such power can lead you to a corrupt fate if left unchecked.”

“At this point, I’ll try _anything_ ,” Dia sighed.

“As long as you don’t destroy Numazu in the process, I’m game,” Kanan said. The other girls exchange worried looks but eventually nod in agreement.

Yoshiko strikes her signature _chuuni_ pose. “Then let the fallen angel Yohane take the lead from this point on, nya.”

It’s a bit hard to take her seriously with the cat ears and tail, though.


	7. Fallen Ritual

“Ye who seek the power of the fallen angel Yohane, submit to me now,” in full costume, Yohane stands in the middle of a cryptic circle drawn in white chalk. Eight candles surround her, one for each of her little demons seeking her guidance. The darkness of the room adds to the ambiance a dark ritual is expected to have, the tension it brings seeping into the hearts of her friends.

“Pledge your soul to eternally serve me and I shall use my dark powers to eliminate the hex that has befallen all of you,” Yohane continues with her shtick, though to her friends it starts to sound more like blackmail than genuine help.

“Yoshiko-chan’s blackmailing us, zura,” said Hanamaru.

“It’s not blackmail! And don’t call me Yoshiko!” she returns to being Yoshiko for a second.

“Don’t say that, Maru,” Kanan grinned. “We’ve been her little demons since the nine of us reformed Aqours. This isn’t unusual by our standards.”

“Whatever,” sighed a desperate Dia. “At this point, I’m more than willing to try _anything_.”

“SILENCE!” the fallen angel’s roar fills the room quickly and shushes any idle chatter. Then, she assumes one of her poses as she closes her eyes. “The bridge between this world and the next is on the verge of forming. Close your eyes, little demons, and focus on building that bridge.”

Riko can’t help but scratch her head. “What does that even mean?”

“Maybe she wants us to _visualize_ a bridge?” suggested Chika.

“Only one way to find out, _bellas,_ ” Mari’s the first to close her eyes and let the silence take her to wherever she needs to be. Soon, the others follow her example, albeit some with doubt.

Soon, only the imposing chant of the fallen angel echoes across the room. Her voice shakes the flames just as it does to her little demons’ souls. While nothing magical is actually occurring, the chant makes the girls too afraid to move a muscle. One wrong move and the entire ritual can be rendered useless. They rest all their hopes on this dark ritual.

“I sense the link finally complete,” Yohane steps out of the circle. “Now, little demons, place the hexed dolls in the circle.”

The girls waste no time placing the _nesoberi_ inside the circle facing each other. The fallen angel then raises her hands in the air, calling out to the powers that endowed her with such abilities. “I call upon the dark lords who transcend space and time. Heed the words of your most faithful servant. Take away the curse from these dolls from this world!”

The flames sway erratically despite no wind blowing. Yohane keeps her arms raised amidst the dance of the candles, irking at the energies suddenly flowing in and out of her. Still, she has to maintain her stance as the conduit between the physical and the beyond. Not that she wants to stop anyway, judging by all the excited moaning. Amidst looks of concern, her friends remain in their spots for fear of interrupting the ritual.

Minutes pass and the moaning grows louder. You and Riko shy away, clearly enjoying such a sight but too flustered to let it show, while the rest look on. Yohane’s shaky legs teeter close to giving way, but they hold fast. More minutes pass and the moaning reaches its climax. “A-aah! Kyaaaaaaah♡~”

Yohane falls to her knees gasping. “Ahhnn…it is done.”

“Is it really over?” replied a still-skeptical Dia.

“Only one way to find out,” Mari grabs the Kanan _nesoberi_ with one hand, while she clenches the other into a fist. Wherever her fist is going, it’s clearly not the face. “SURPRISE FIST-SEX!”

The doll’s human counterpart braces for the surprise. Nothing.

Not that Kanan’s disappointed, but she sees Mari repeats her surprise in absolute futility. “Yeah! It’s not working anymore,” Mari announces with joy, only to take it back and repeat it with a sad tone. “I mean, awww…it’s not working anymore.”

Too astonished to even react to Mari’s bad joke, the girls randomly grab a _nesoberi_ and begin fiddling with it in a number of ways. The result is the same: nothing can be felt. Immediately, the girls raise the dolls in joy as they realize that the ordeal is finally over. They can do anything with the dolls and not suffer the consequences anymore.

“Yoshiko-chan, you’re amazing, zura!” Hanamaru is the first to congratulate the fallen angel for the effective ritual. “I was skeptical at your shtick at first. But now I’m totally convinced, zura!” she can’t help but shake Yoshiko’s hands like a jump rope.

“O-Of course,” Yoshiko replied. “Just who the hell do you think—hey, don’t call it a _shtick_!”

“Indeed, Yoshiko-san,” Dia added. “You saved us with your fallen angel powers. There are no words to convey our deepest gratitude.”

“Whoa! Hold on, this is too much praise,” Yoshiko finds herself surrounded by variations of the word “thank you” from her friends. Regardless, she lets them overwhelm her. After all, it’s not every day that she basks in moments like this. She’s not even in the mood to correct them that they’re supposed to call her Yohane.

So is that it? Does the rabbit hole end here? There wouldn’t be a need to ask this if it was.


	8. The Ending That's Long Overdue

Peace finally returns to the city, the village, the school, the girls, and everything that was failed to mention. The threat of the hexed _nesoberi_ has been all but lifted, due in no small part of the fallen angel Yohane’s power. As her friends found out, she enjoys curses as much as six-year-olds swimming in the ball pit. For good measure, however, the girls tried playing with the plush toys they own before leaving school. Nothing comically bad happens to their relief.

Normal school life resumes in Uranohoshi, with friends greeting each other under the shower of cherry blossom petals. The pleasant staccato of footsteps going up the hill plays with the spring breeze in a mellow melody. A flight of seagulls echo as they fly over the school, toward the open ocean. Save for a few mishaps like Yoshiko forgetting her homework (again), all’s as normal as it’ll ever be in anyone’s lifetime.

“Good morning,” Chika gleefully walks into the club room. Her fellow school idols, already raring to go for practice, reply in kind. “Anyone heard the news? The arcade’s pulling out the _nesoberi_ crane game for good!”

“Well, I know the curse’s been lifted. But still, that’s great news,” said Riko.

“I’m just glad that it’s over,” Dia sighed. “I don’t know how we’ll be able to do our live shows with cursed dolls of us up for grabs.” The other girls break out in varying murmurs of relief. “There’s no stopping us from practice this time. Come on, everyone.”

Before they can all leave, Kanan notices they’re one idol short. “Hold up. Where’s Mari?”

“Ah, I forgot to tell you,” Dia replied. “She won’t be able to come to school today because of a family errand. So it’s just the eight of us.”

Kanan can’t help but get a nagging feeling about that, but she puts it aside for the sake of the group. One by one, the girls trickle out the club room in idle chatter.

But when it’s Dia’s turn to leave, she suddenly locks her legs together out of a strange feeling. With heavy panting, she resists the heat welling up inside her. Between her legs, a sensation grows stronger, beyond what a press of her hand can do. “W-What’s this feeling? I thought it’s all over…aaaaahhhnn♡…”

It wasn’t. There are still more of the cursed _nesoberi_ out there, their owners none the wiser. But what degenerate being would engage in such lasciviousness? What individual would treat Dia as a plaything for her pleasure?

“Oh…shiny…” a figure in the shadows pants while thrusting against a Dia _nesoberi_ belly-up.

Hundreds of yards away, an infatuated Dia makes out the unique thrusting she’s experiencing. “This feeling…aaaahh…Mari-san,” the ensuing mix of rage and pleasure is inevitable. “MARI-SAAAAaaaaaahhhnnn♡…”

**~O~**

The plot thickens near its inevitable conclusion. In a certain room on an island hotel, the crane game sheds some light on some hot, kinky action taking place on bed. Deep gasps of a certain rich blonde fill the room as she rides the semi-smooth texture beneath the _nesoberi’s_ miniskirt. She shows no signs of slowing down, to Dia’s chagrin.

“Ahh…oh, Dia…aahhh…ah…aaahhh…”

Indeed, the crane game was pulled out of the arcade, only to end up in Mari’s selfish hands. No sane person would believe in the crazy incident Aqours had to go through, so she does the next best thing: buying the game itself. The solution is as good as the proponent herself, exemplified by the sexy time she’s spending with Dia _nesoberi_.

Sadly for her, the girls are on to her. And it starts with the door coming down hard.

“FREEZE, NESO POLICE, ZURA!” Hanamaru leads half of Aqours unto the breach, strangely in full tactical gear and fully-loaded water guns with flashlights. Judging by her shocked look, Mari is taken completely by surprise.

“You…better…ahh…explain…yourself…Mari-san,” Dia enters the room and confronts her close friend. The effects of long-distance sex make it difficult for her to say anything with cohesion.

Instead, to no one’s surprise, Mari decides to do it the hard way. “You’ll never take me alive!” she takes the _nesoberi_ and makes for the window. But then, the second-years break into the room from that direction, sending glass shards flying across the room.

“On the floor, Mari-chan! On the floor NOW!” Chika frantically points her water gun at Mari. You and Riko follow her lead (though Riko barely keeps a straight face).

Boxed in like a static figurine, the mischievous Mari does as she’s told. As the first-years storm the room and restrain the fugitive, Riko takes time to question the point of all this. “Umm…why are we even dressed up like this?”

“Ah, this is for our upcoming PV with a tactical shop in Numazu,” You grinned.

“Wait, we’re promoting guns now?!”

“What? No, it’s just tactical gear. You know, like helmets and stuff.”

“How is THIS promoting? We just scared the life out of Mari-san!”

Fortunately, for all their sakes, there’s no need to call the cops. The fugitive in custody instantly cooperates with her captors in piecing together a mystery they all thought had been solved. The machine, half-filled with the hexed _nesoberi_ , looms menacingly, mocking their efforts so far. As the dust settles on the commotion, they all wonder what they should do now.

Dia utters perhaps the only option they have: “Haiti.”

“What?” the girls reply in unison.

“We have to travel to the source of these wretched dolls and put a stop to them. If not, there will be more of them to bother us to no end.”

“Dia-san, wait,” protested Riko. “You can’t expect us to travel halfway around the world just to stop a bunch of hexed dolls. There must be another way.”

“Well, un-cursing our dolls didn’t work,” You said. “What else are we supposed to do?”

As Riko stammers finding the right words, to her shock (and to everybody’s expectations), Chika gets on board the idea. “Let’s do it, everyone!” Cue the group breaking out in random murmurs. “We can’t go on with our lives until we settle this for good. So let’s go to wherever Haiti is.”

“Well said, little demon Chika,” Yoshiko channels her fallen angel persona. “We enter the heart of this evil and eradicate it once and for all. My powers should suffice for this task.”

“I agree,” Ruby nods. “I don’t want this to happen any longer.”

“I can’t wait to taste the food there, zura,” replied Hanamaru, her priorities clearly skewed.

“Guess we’re gonna have to do this after all,” Kanan said casually. “Not that I’m against it.”

Even the captive Mari is supportive of the endeavor. “Let’s do it, _bella_. I’ll even pay for plane tickets,” she declares, only made aware later that she’s the only one who can pay for the trip.

All the while, facing a unanimous decision, Riko relents in a sigh of defeat. “Okay, fine…”

With imaginary victory music playing in her head, Chika rallies her fellow school idols for one last adventure. “Come on, everyone! Let’s get rid of this curse!”

“YEAAAAAH!”

Sorry, girls. No time for that crap. The end.

“EEEEEHHH?!”


End file.
